How to no longer be plagued by old friends, teach you to kick the old trick lover 9.
1, ideologically, to recognize that he is inappropriate for you, you will not have the results between the
Delay will only increase each other's pain. Here are a few extramarital affair the psychology of feelings in order to help you understand the reality and cut off Emotional Memory to Sanjiang.
Extra-marital affairs indeed very exciting, you feel like into the sky. However, you have to wait phone, together have only one or two hours. Sunday is the most distressed, because you are "he" is not around, but to stay home with his wife. The most painful thing for the world, than fall in love with a person you can not have.
An extramarital affair by a woman or her spouse to the other advice is "Do not fall into the trap go, every woman felt that their situation unique is that she met the man will divorce. However, one would tend to be better days."
"An affair to make you face deeply hurt many people around the guilt, these shadows will be a lifetime with you, and even if you live with the new love, from happiness, happy life, in your heart of hearts, will always be set according to the apology and the sense of guilt. "
2, keep their distance from
If you work together, you want to use honorifics to his speeches. Leave your previous place frequented stop for his concern. If you can not afford to temporarily forget that he is normal, you need time, but remember not to a date with him or call. With you and try to avoid, if possible, adjustable department or seek employment there. Distance and time can dilute the feelings between each other.
3, do not make excuses for their own
The complexity lies in emotional and sometimes difficult to grasp our own love hate burst a while. Reason, conflicts of interest are also aware, that is, unable to control their own feelings. Or even, often find excuses for their behavior, self-deception. Please remember not to take some special days, such as birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc., and give ourselves an excuse, so that the resurgence of extra-marital affairs, which come to naught.
4, cleaning items associated with him
See things think human nature is love. A small gift will lead to your fond memories, happiness for himself. In short, he can every single item affects your heart, arouse your comment on his thoughts. Therefore, should he forgot his best to destroy some of the items related to, or away.
5, to mobilize our own psychological defense mechanisms, balancing their own state of mind
Psychological defense mechanism is that when a person's psychological setback or difficulty, he uses a lot of ways to deal with the adaptation, such as: actions taken to deal with problems directly, negative way to escape or to respond to such childish.
Psychological defense mechanisms unconsciously almost everyone to use, it is carried out in the unconscious, but we did not realize that. In our living environment, wherever and whenever there are many setbacks and difficulties, if they can not take direct action to deal with deal with, we need to rely on the psychological mechanisms and measures to adapt to, it is a normal and healthy psychological phenomenon.
Here are some common psychological defense mechanism, you can choose your own different circumstances.
Depression:
This is the most basic psychological defense mechanism of maturity, when a person's desire to impulsive or instinctive inability to achieve satisfaction or performance, there is conscious or unconscious way to hold him down, control, think of ways to delay their unmet needs. For example: a man on the road to see beautiful girls and so on.
We are ordinary people has been able to maintain normal interpersonal relationships, social order, are relying on each person's dampening effect to control our behavior, the more mature, self-cultivation, the more able to use the role of depression. You should give full play to the strength of repression.
But if you live in their own repressed feelings, do not think he's probably not so easy. You can start to control their own behavior, is no longer with his appointment or call.
Sublimation role:
Sometimes, the original impulse or desire of people, such as directly shown, it may be subject to punishment or adverse reactions, and therefore can not be directly demonstrated, we must look, the original impulse or desire more noble-oriented direction. A creative, constructive and conducive to social and myself, call it the role of Kai-hua. Such as: people in the face of setbacks, it will be the pressure changes in force, hard work and learning. You may be suffering psychological shift upward momentum, so that my desires in line with the social code of ethics within the framework of reality. The joy of success will relieve your pain of losing love.
The rationalization of roles:
In general, for each occurrence of the phenomenon or event can be used many ways and reasons to explain himself. If for their own psychological needs, choose from a number of reasons, some of which were in line with their own inner need to reason, to emphasize the expense of other reasons, in order to avoid mental suffering persons, known as the rationalization of the role. Such as: in the pursuit of a particular thing and not, in order to dilute their own restless, for their failure to find a reason, often to belittle each other. Used to console myself. This is the "sour grapes." Men fail to recover a woman, they say this woman well. Flat face of a woman beautiful woman say, "Dam Street born unlucky" and so on. This psychological defense mechanism that can help people to accept the reality, but do not over-use, because it would prevent people to pursue what they really need. But now you can use the "sour grapes", the lover's negative characteristics (bad place) a list made, several times a day or want to see a few times, and try to imagine him and his family gathered scenes. So you will increase the centrifugal force with him to help you from the whirlpool of emotions pull out.
Consumption function:
When people experience psychological stress or frustration, the desire not meet, they tend to eat too much, impulse shopping, alcoholism, etc., to satisfy their desires. When you're ready to leave the lover, when the feeling of inferiority and failure will continue to emerge, so that you are suffering. At this time, you may wish to chic that money to buy some clothes or to do some fitness and beauty activities. It can help you to restore their desired self-confidence.
6, take part in some outdoor activities and social activities
Social interaction will help you out of its present predicament. The beautiful outdoor scenery can make you feel happy mood. Know some new friends help you move your attention.
7, do you really care about, or interested in something
Extra-marital affairs to bring your sweet and warm and not any thing can compete with them, the only way to conduct a trial of strength and it is that you really interested in things. Engaged in the work you like will give you enormous pleasure to compensate you for the termination of extra-marital affairs because of the loss of joy.
8, change your self-confidence which will affect the behavior and appearance of
Termination of extra-marital affairs can make you feel unhappy, low self-esteem, depression. The loss of confidence in the future. Then you can do some refinement and beauty, or to do some good at your work, this will help you to restore confidence as quickly as possible to find self-worth.
9, learn to express their feelings
If you are an introvert or a strong-willed, are reluctant to express their own feelings of people, you need to learn. Do Qiang Yi grief, speak out or write it out, so you can make your pain and give vent to a certain extent, so that you feel comfortable
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